Thursday, April 24, 2008

Contest Time!!! BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!

Seems like only yesterday we were packing boxes, preparing to move cross-country when a dear friend came to our door with this exquisite parting gift, made especially with us in mind.

As soon as the door was closed behind our visitor, I shouted, "WHAT in God's holy name is it?" My girls didn't know and were afraid to touch it, lest they be rendered unclean.

Although the dining room hutch and other precious items were destroyed in the move, you'll be happy to know creature made the journey unscathed. (Bless United Moving Company!) The girls bring creature out on those rare occasions when I'm in a really foul mood and the things that usually make me laugh, like Mooning Mommy, just don't work. This does the trick every single time, and I wind up with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Your mission, should you decide to accept, is: NAME THIS THING!!!

The person with the best answer wins the respect and admiration of the vast number of readers of this blog.


The Episcotarian Unipaganist said...

Very well: I shall name your thing as long as I don't have to TOUCH your thing! How do you sleep at night with that in the house? I'm sure Patrick is riven with jealousy and struck by lust each time that item rears its vile head(s).

BTW please do recall your daughters are legally minors and it would be no difficult task for me to discover the number for your local CPS office and RAT YOU OUT!!

THE PROPOSED NAME: Benedic (see Ps 104:25-26)

Or, as a "pet" (eeeuuuww) name: Leviathan

p.s. Thanks ever so for showing off your hyper-clean grout. I was thrilled when the realtors said unto me that I did not have to bleach the grout in the kitchen, breakfast room, laundry room or half bath. I went through a dozen toothbrushes and two buckets of OxyClean scrubbing grout in the two full baths. Just thought you'd want to share the misery . . .oh wait . . .you HAVE!

Amy Dupire said...

Yikes, LG.
I don't know if I can name it, but it looks like a good reminder to get a colonoscopy.

MM said...

all I can say is ewwww! I hope you keep that thing away from your dog. She deserves a better chew toy.

PS thanks for comment on 6 things.

Love Mrs. Gordon Sumter

Jenny Graman Meyer said...

It reminds me of a cross between a lobster and a falopian tube. Or perhaps some sea creature from the depth. What I want to know is, what was in the mind of the creator?

How about Fabian?

Lottery Girl said...


No touchy? Deal!!!

True about the underage girls, but I figure if they haven't gotten me by now... When son was about four, he went into the public bathroom at one of those inside playgrounds and came running out, because he'd "zipped" himself. While clutching the offended member, he shouted, "Mommy, can you kiss it and make it better?"

I'll have to look up that Bible passage.

The grout was only clean because it was on the island in the kitchen and got cleaned all the time with Soft Scrub. The grout on all the floors was vile. Our realtor's hubby had a carpet cleaning/tile cleaning business, and as part of signing up with her, he cleaned the carpets FOR FREE! WOW! He also did me a favor and cleaned the entry way tile. REALLY nice family!

Lottery Girl said...



Lottery Girl said...


Thank God the dogs have no interest in this wretched thing!

Hey, I'm going to add you to my list!

Thanks for visiting!

Lottery Girl said...

Dear Jenny,

ROTFLMAO!!! I didn't think of fallopian tubes! That's great!

Seriously, I don't ever want to make fun of anyone, so I didn't ask anyone to guess-describe the artist. But she is a young girl who is positively boy crazy. She never did say what her creation was supposed to be.

A Novel Woman said...

My eyes....

It looks like headless, skinned roadkill on an alien planet, a planet inhabited by Very Satisfied Women.

It's also got the boiled turkey neck, gilled stomach, three-legged penis race thing going on, which simply defies all attempts to name the thing.

Then again, I wonder if that's what's they mean by "mechanically separated chicken" on the list of dog food ingredients.

Kind of scorpian like, with obvious male overtones.


The Three Amigos?



Susan Adrian said...

Child names it:

Longtail, the 3-eyed scorpion.

I name it Sylvester. :)

Lottery Girl said...


ROTFLMAO!!! Yes, you're right--very satisfied alien women.

I can't decide whether I like Scorpenis or Cockadoodle-don't best. Thanks!

Off to the library to pick up the book you recommended...

Lottery Girl said...


Child is too precious! Give her a big hug from me. (Hope she doesn't suffer any long-term effects from viewing the monster.)

Sylvester does have its appeal--strange and affectionate all at the same time.

Thanks for stopping in!

Robert A Vollrath said...

It's a Mygorein Mythal Goumph.
Strange little creature. You don't see them on Earth but once in a blue moon.

Lottery Girl said...


Ah...Great explanation!

Thanks so much for stopping in!

BellaRose said...

dear GOD mother! I thought that thing was dead!